Jell-O. Lime Jell-o (an exerpt from Boiled Cat)
“Will!” I hear Paris yell, and a door slam. Will saunters out of the room Kevin
and I share.
“Kevin up?” I ask, ignoring Jayson’s muttering down the hallway.
“No. I was just checking on him. He had a headache so I made him some white willow bark tea. Seems to be okay now.”
“Migraine?”
“Nothing that serious.” Will shakes his head. “Well, good night. Hope you find your bed comfy.”
“Wasn’t too bad last night,” I shrug. The room is dark but full of sounds — Kevin’s snoring light and supple, traffic in the street below, a muted television from another room. I undress, leaving my underwear as my only nocturnal garment. The smell coming from my hair is something akin to bar
room, booze and sweat, but I have no energy for a shower now. I’d probably pass out and crack my head open on the tub.
There is barely enough light to help me find my bed. It’s so dark in this room. I pull back the covers, jump in and . . . SCREAM! Something slimy and cold envelopes my legs. Something wet and sticky grabs at my chest!
“Ahh! Something’s in my bed!” Fighting to get away from whatever it is, I lean against my pillow. It gushes! “Kevin! Something shot out of my pillow!”
Kevin begins to yell too. “What is it? It’s on my bed!"
I struggle to get away but slip and slide in goo, now warmish. I’m beginning to
detect a definite lime smell in the air. What the . . .? The more I thrash, the more restricted I become as the sheets pull tighter and tighter around my body, until I’m completely trapped. A sticky lock of hair flies into my mouth and I taste it.
Jell-O.
Lime Jell-O.
I stop screaming and start cursing. A blinding light comes on overhead. My eyes adjust painfully and I see Will and Paris leaning in the doorway, arms crossed, their laughter filling the room.
“Very funny, jerks!” I growl between my grinding teeth. I go to fly at them
but come short, completely tangled from the waist down.
“Bed comfy?” Will asks.
I grab a square of lime green Jell-O and fire it at the hyenas, missing. It splatters tragically on the wall.
“Ah, you couldn’t hit the broad side of a barn, Thrash!” Paris taunts.
“I have better aim than you!"
Kevin tastes the fluffy white stuff that shot out my pillow onto his bed, “Not bad for imitation whipping cream,” he comments.
“Glad to hear it,” Paris beams. “It’s an edible oil product!”
“Yeah, took us quite a bit of work scamming it from the kitchen.” Will smiles, showing his teeth, “I thought the tour was getting a bit dry. Figured I’d liven things up.”
I chuck some more Jell-O squares, my aim worsening rather than improving. “Your karma, Will. Jell-O isn’t vegan.”
“You know, sometimes I wonder if karma is all it’s cracked up to be.”
Paris punches Will on the shoulder, “Now you’re talking, mon ami.
The bed dips as Kevin comes and sits beside me, glancing at the two in the doorway. “The question is, Thrash, are we going to let them get away with this?”
“Now that’s a mighty fine question, Kevin,” I reply. The guys are grinning like
there’s no tomorrow. “Nail them,” I shout.
We launch a barrage of Jell-O cubes, hitting the wall, the door, the ceiling, and yes, the floor. Will and Paris dutifully duck out of the way and catch nothing. At least as far as I can tell. Kevin figuring that he would have a better chance hitting someone closer, scoops a large handful of mostly crushed cubes and throws them at my head. I’m just about to annihilate him when Jenna-Lee appears in the doorway. Her presence sends an electric shock right through me and stops everyone else cold.
“Uh, hi Jenna-Lee.” I say, pulling Jell-O from my hair. “What’s up?”
“Had trouble sleeping. You?”
“Yeah, me too.”
Jenna-Lee laughs and reaches her hand out to me, “Come on, I’ll clean you up. You can sleep in my bed.”
I get untangled and follow her out. No one says a word.
and I share.
“Kevin up?” I ask, ignoring Jayson’s muttering down the hallway.
“No. I was just checking on him. He had a headache so I made him some white willow bark tea. Seems to be okay now.”
“Migraine?”
“Nothing that serious.” Will shakes his head. “Well, good night. Hope you find your bed comfy.”
“Wasn’t too bad last night,” I shrug. The room is dark but full of sounds — Kevin’s snoring light and supple, traffic in the street below, a muted television from another room. I undress, leaving my underwear as my only nocturnal garment. The smell coming from my hair is something akin to bar
room, booze and sweat, but I have no energy for a shower now. I’d probably pass out and crack my head open on the tub.
There is barely enough light to help me find my bed. It’s so dark in this room. I pull back the covers, jump in and . . . SCREAM! Something slimy and cold envelopes my legs. Something wet and sticky grabs at my chest!
“Ahh! Something’s in my bed!” Fighting to get away from whatever it is, I lean against my pillow. It gushes! “Kevin! Something shot out of my pillow!”
Kevin begins to yell too. “What is it? It’s on my bed!"
I struggle to get away but slip and slide in goo, now warmish. I’m beginning to
detect a definite lime smell in the air. What the . . .? The more I thrash, the more restricted I become as the sheets pull tighter and tighter around my body, until I’m completely trapped. A sticky lock of hair flies into my mouth and I taste it.
Jell-O.
Lime Jell-O.
I stop screaming and start cursing. A blinding light comes on overhead. My eyes adjust painfully and I see Will and Paris leaning in the doorway, arms crossed, their laughter filling the room.
“Very funny, jerks!” I growl between my grinding teeth. I go to fly at them
but come short, completely tangled from the waist down.
“Bed comfy?” Will asks.
I grab a square of lime green Jell-O and fire it at the hyenas, missing. It splatters tragically on the wall.
“Ah, you couldn’t hit the broad side of a barn, Thrash!” Paris taunts.
“I have better aim than you!"
Kevin tastes the fluffy white stuff that shot out my pillow onto his bed, “Not bad for imitation whipping cream,” he comments.
“Glad to hear it,” Paris beams. “It’s an edible oil product!”
“Yeah, took us quite a bit of work scamming it from the kitchen.” Will smiles, showing his teeth, “I thought the tour was getting a bit dry. Figured I’d liven things up.”
I chuck some more Jell-O squares, my aim worsening rather than improving. “Your karma, Will. Jell-O isn’t vegan.”
“You know, sometimes I wonder if karma is all it’s cracked up to be.”
Paris punches Will on the shoulder, “Now you’re talking, mon ami.
The bed dips as Kevin comes and sits beside me, glancing at the two in the doorway. “The question is, Thrash, are we going to let them get away with this?”
“Now that’s a mighty fine question, Kevin,” I reply. The guys are grinning like
there’s no tomorrow. “Nail them,” I shout.
We launch a barrage of Jell-O cubes, hitting the wall, the door, the ceiling, and yes, the floor. Will and Paris dutifully duck out of the way and catch nothing. At least as far as I can tell. Kevin figuring that he would have a better chance hitting someone closer, scoops a large handful of mostly crushed cubes and throws them at my head. I’m just about to annihilate him when Jenna-Lee appears in the doorway. Her presence sends an electric shock right through me and stops everyone else cold.
“Uh, hi Jenna-Lee.” I say, pulling Jell-O from my hair. “What’s up?”
“Had trouble sleeping. You?”
“Yeah, me too.”
Jenna-Lee laughs and reaches her hand out to me, “Come on, I’ll clean you up. You can sleep in my bed.”
I get untangled and follow her out. No one says a word.